LEFT BRAIN / RIGHT BRAIN


Hello all you overstuffed turkey murderers out there! It's time once again for the annual Thanksgiving Day rant by yours truly, so sit back, pop another brewsky bottletop with your inbred overbite, and have someone literate read this to you!

There's so much to be thankful for, it's hard to know where to begin. Here in this country, almost all of us live in relative ease and comfort, well fed, with warm homes and loving families.

I'm thankful first and foremost for my continued halfway decent health. I weigh less and look better than I did a year ago. I have not had any major illnesses threaten me, nor any injuries that could cripple or kill me. My family is still strong, and my father's battle with cancer seems to be getting easier with the new treatments he's been given, and for this I am thankful.

I'm thankful that in this strong national economy I remain employed and pull down a decent paycheck, allowing me to continue to own my own home. Also, the small windfalls I'm prone to give me a little more financial freedom and keep me out of trouble. My comic has its own tee-shirt, and I'm positioning myself to roll out my small, insignificant home business (visual art production and sales on a microscale) and take a tiny step towards a better life. For all this, I am thankful.

I'm thankful that my circle of friends is growing. No one seems to wish me harm. I revel in their friendship and know that when I'm out there, there are people who like to have fun and drink as I. I'm thankful for the other minds like mine found along my journeys along the web, and I'm learning about people from other countries. And I'm thankful that I'm able to afford travel, and my home area is no longer the only place I know, and for this I am thankful.

I'm thankful for Bad Bunny, the comic that give me an introspective insight to my own life. Taking on a life of its own now it seems, the comic is gaining a small following, and even has its own merchandising. For Dutch, I am thankful.

And finally, I'm thankful that at least one person is reading this, or else what are you sitting there for? Thanks.

As I said last Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that I only have to do this once a year! Man, what a pain in the ass! At least after this little puff piece is done I can go back to my general surliness, and for that I'm thankful.

I'm thankful that I'm not dead yet, what with all the people that need my existance to be annoyed, all the parasites I have to support, and all those that I've yet to corrupt, anger, turn delinquent, amuse into peeing themselves, and turn into bitter ugly bastards like myself. So many desevre that special touch of nastiness only I can give, the list seems endless starting with all those who annoy me on a personal basis and ending with crippled orphans in Calcutta For the chance to increase the cause of cynicism, I am thankful.

I'm thankful that, with the current ongoing clusterfuck in Florida with the presidential vote counts and rampant fraud and political posturing and ball-kicking, the entire world can see how fucked up everything is. Everyone can see what utter fuck-ups politicians are, meddling in shit they don't know anything about and making confusing an already bleak situation. And for the even impossible chance of being able to take over (if I had a small army of lawyers and armed citizens and enough cash), I am somewhat thankful.

I'm thankful that I learned about hunting and killing. I'm thankful that when I went hunting with my father and did Bambi in, that it upset so many city-raised, whiny, liberal, pro-animal-and-fuck-human-nature pricks and prickettes into wanting to skin me and put me on a spit. I'm thankful that I can eat my venison stew (delicious and nutritious) as they choke down that bland flavorless tofu dog and city-park grass salad, and I can say, "How's your dinner, you single step up from starvation, you?"

And lastly, I'm thankful that there are others willing to read my rants and know from where I spew my vitriol. That there are souls like mine destined for whatever hell exists and I won't be on the bus alone waiting for a demon-spanking, I am thankful. I'll just have to remember to bring the bottle of Southern Comfort 100 becuase I hate to drink alone. If you're there on the bus to hell beside me, and you have a drink with me, thanks.

And I'm thankful I'm done this crap for another year, too!

Agree? Disagree? Think I oughta just thank my lucky stars that you don't know where I live? Write, and I'll give you my addy in the barrio, and you can dodge the bullets as you try to reach my front door!

I have no joke...just go home Maybe you're thankful now, eh?

URL: http://geocities.yahoo.com/Area51/Atlantis/1060
Layout, Design, & Revisions by Wolfie � 1999, 2000 All stories, rants, and artwork not associated with, or owned by Yahoo!�, Geocities, or their subsidiaries, have been produced by W. Michael Dooley/Wolfie's Pack Ltd. All written works are fiction and any similarities to any person, place, or entity, living, dead, or otherwise, is purely coincidental. No part of this website (/Area51/Atlantis/1060) may be reproduced in whole or in part without express written consent of the author and/or Wolfie's Pack Ltd. and is strictly prohibited.
Copyright � 1999,2000. All rights reserved.